🎉🥳 Hold onto your butts, tech fam, because the Oakley Meta Vanguard smart glasses just dropped, and they’re basically the 499-dollar ticket to your suburban dad fantasy! 🕶️💰 Slide those bad boys on, and BAM! You’re suddenly the star of a low-budget sports montage: “DADWAVE” playing in the background as you grill the local T-ball coach about that *totally illegal slide tackle* 🤦‍♂️🔥. These shades are giving me major Coach Eric Taylor vibes, but instead of inspiring a ragtag group of teens, I’m just inspiring myself to yell “GET IT TOGETHER!” to a bunch of 7-year-olds. 💪🚀 And let’s talk about the price… $499!? For the cost of one tank of gas nowadays, you could buy an actual, real-life coach to stand beside you and yell for you while you sip a LaCroix 🥤 #Stonks. Imagine this hot leak from a “source” I totally didn’t make up: "Why wear a regular dad bod when you can wear a *meta dad bod*? You feel me?!" 🤖💀 So here’s the unhinged prediction: In 2024, these glasses will come with AI that literally coaches your kid’s team while you sit back, kick up your feet, and sip on that overpriced kombucha! 🌌😱 Smash that like and share if your dad would buy these to look cool while doing absolutely nothing! 😂💸🔥 #ThisIsFine #TechMemeMadness