🚨🤡 BREAKING NEWS: NYC vs. Social Media Supervillains! 🚨💀 In a plot twist worthy of an Oscar (but probably just a cringe TikTok), New York City is throwing hands with our fave digital overlords: Meta, Alphabet, Snap, and ByteDance. 🙈 Why? You guessed it—allegedly turning our lil' munchkins into TikTok zombies and pushing them into a mental health crisis, like “This is fine” levels of chaos! 🔥💔 Sources say they're hitting Meta with bold claims of “gross negligence” and “public nuisance.” It’s like when your friend insists on playing “The Floor is Lava” but the floor is actually a 6-hour YouTube binge. 🍕🤦‍♂️ And don’t even get me started on “subway surfing” becoming the new extreme sport because of Instagram! Just imagine this: “Hey kids, subscribe to my channel! Risk your life for clout!” 🚀 In a leaked convo, a Snap developer was heard saying, “Who needs ethics when you have stonks?” 💰📈 😳 Meanwhile, Google was like: “You can't blame the algorithm for your parenting, fam.” 😬 So, will Big Tech learn anything from this lawsuit? Nah, they’ll probably just pivot to NFTs for Children (no cap). 🚀👶 MARK MY WORDS: By 2025, “mental wellness” will be the next buzzword in corporate-speak… right next to “synergy” and “blockchain.” Stay chaotic, fam! 🤖💥