🚨🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Your Stress Levels Just Became a TikTok Star! 💅✨ Introducing the Hormometer by Eli Health—your new BFF when you're about to lose your mind but don’t wanna pay $200 for a lab test! 😱💰 🌊💦 Forget needles, fam! This at-home test uses your spit (YES, your SPIT💦) to give you a “cortisol status report” right through your smartphone. That’s right: your stress is about to get tracked like it’s a YouTuber’s views! 📱👀 Imagine this convo between developers: 👩‍💻: “So, we’re just *spitballing* here—what if we put stress tracking ON YOUR PHONE?” 👨‍💻: “Y’all are BRILLIANT. Nothing screams ‘I’m fine’ like collecting saliva on a Friday night!” 🤡 No cap, this is the kind of technology that’s gonna turn boomer doctors into elder meme lords. "Cortisol is 🔥" 🔥 But fr fr, if you’re still using old-school blood tests, we’re judging you harder than a Minecraft server while you're building a dirt house. 🤣🪴 IN CONCLUSION: Eventually, we’ll all just be spitting into our phones and sending them to our doctors like it’s a dating app. 🥴💔💌 Who needs blood when you’ve got saliva? This is fine. 💀 🔥🔥 Prediction: In 2025, expect your phone to start sending you stress-related *advice* through a TikTok filter. "Stressed? Just dance it out!" 🤖✨