🎉💥👟 Hold onto your sneakers, fam! Nike is dropping some NEXT-LEVEL *ROBOTIC* 😂💃💰 footwear that's gonna have you feeling like Iron Man on a morning jog! That’s right, folks — you can now run with LESS effort than a couch potato on a Saturday night 📺🍕. In a bold, stonks-motivated move, Nike just unveiled a footwear system that’s basically an electric bike for your FEET! 🚴‍♂️👣 Let’s just say the only thing faster than your new kicks will be the *whoosh* of your bank account disappearing into the abyss of overpriced tech! 💸🔚 🔍 *“Our goal? To make runners feel like they’ve been hit by lightning. But, you know, the cool kind.”* - Some unseen Nike developer 😜. But let’s keep it real, the only thing lighting up is the sound of your bank account SIZZLING 🔥🍳. So GOATed or just GOAT meat? Can we even trust a brand that gives more power to shoes than I’ve got in my entire bank account? 🐐 💀🤷‍♂️ 🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 2 years, we’ll all be running marathons in fully-robotic suits designed by Nike! AND they’ll cost as much as a college tuition. 💀📚💩 So, ready to sell a kidney for the fastest jog of your life? 🚀💨 #NikeChaos #JustDoItButNotReally