🍏💻 *BREAKING: Apple Just Dropped the NEW M5 MacBook Pro & It’s... uh, basically the same as last year. WOMP WOMP!* 😴✋ Listen up, fam! If you were pumped to throw your hard-earned stonks 💰 at the newest M5, you might wanna take a seat. 🚫 Because unless you enjoy the taste of déjà vu, this baby is just a fresh coat of paint on last year’s stale M4 sandwich. 🥪✨ Rumor has it *next year’s M6* is gonna be a whole different beast. Think less “this is fine” 🐶🔥 and more “where have you been all my life?” 💖🔮💥 Imagine a laptop that (gasp) actually *moves* you forward in tech! 🏃‍♂️💨 Sources say, “If this is Apple’s idea of progress, I’m off to find a Windows machine that doesn’t make me wanna yeet myself into the void.” 🤡💀 **LEAKED DEVELOPER QUOTE:** “Honestly, I think we just printed new stickers and called it a day. #AppleLogic 😩” ... *That’s a whole mood, tho.* 😳 In conclusion: Keep your wallets closed for now, because once that M6 drops, the *only* thing you’ll regret is buying the M5. 🥴🔥💻😂 **Hot take?** Next year’s MacBooks will literally FLUSH YOUR CASH down the toilet. Mark my words! 🚽💸 #AppleIsCursed