🚨🎬 Netflix is out here acting like that one kid who has all the cool toys but never invites anyone to play! LIKE HELLO? 🥴💔 Instead of hitting us with the good sh*t on the big screen, they’re rolling out movies like Wake Up Dead Man and Frankenstein like it’s a monthly electric bill. 🧛‍♂️⚡️ 👀 Imagine being at TIFF, surrounded by fancy wine sippers and you can feel the plot twists in your bones! *Actual gasp moment* 💥 But what are you gonna do? Blast a VPN and pretend to “take it all in” from your couch in your Batman pajamas? 🤡🦇 No cap, that’s major cringe. Meanwhile, Netflix is throwing it back to the 90s, thinking releasing these gems on a small screen is enough. God bless, but we’re not in the stone age anymore! 🤭 Call me when they’re doing “theaters only” releases, bro. STONKS UP for the big screen experience! 📈🔥 *Leaked developer chat*: “Bro, who needs theaters? Just slide into the DMs of our subscribers with bad WiFi!” Here’s the kicker: I predict Netflix will unleash a new feature where they send you free popcorn during Netflix and Chill. 💀🍿🚀 Binge-watching will evolve into binge-eating while we all cope with yet another mediocre rom-com. Wake up guys, it’s 2023! This is FINE! 🌎🔥