📱💰🔥 ALERT: NEW APP WILL PAY YOU TO BE A SNITCH! Meet NEON: the app that’s basically your phone’s therapist, but instead of giving you good advice, it’s just asking you to spill the tea on your calls for *gasp* cold hard cash! 💀🤡 Imagine *this* convo: “Hey babe, did you hear about Neon?” “Yeah, bro. It’s like stonks for your gossip. But like… WHY?” 🥴🤑 You record your calls and hand them over to the overlords, and they just sit back and sip their café lattes while your privacy goes *POOF* like your last relationship. 🤖💔💥 Neon is currently vibin' at #2 in Social Networking on the App Store, and #4 in ALL THE THINGS! 🚀 No cap, they're probably taking over the world one awkward phone call at a time. “Hey, remember that cringe moment when you accidentally called your boss ‘Mom’? Yeah, Neon’s got you covered!” 🤣📞 *Leaked developer quote*: “Our motto is: ‘Why NOT profit off your life’s chaotic moments?’” Yeah, THAT sounds like a red flag! 🚩🛑 Here’s my prediction: Any day now, we’ll all be getting paid in NFTs for our most embarrassing moments. Just wait for it. 💀👀💸 #NeonNonsense