🎉💀 STOP THE PRESSES! Microsoft is BACK with a surprise launch that *definitely* wasn’t on our 2023 bingo cards; say hello to the totally-not-Cortana Copilot 2.0! 🚀👾 Imagine if the ’90s met the metaverse and blended into a pixelated, cringy abomination that talks to you like it’s your mildly embarrassing uncle at a family BBQ. “Hey, do you want that Microsoft Excel formula in Comic Sans?” 🤡💀 Morbid curiosity is kicking in, but let’s get this straight: Who asked for a voice assistant with the charm of a 12-bit game character?! In a world where Google Assistant sounds like it graduated from MIT, Microsoft is like, “Nah, let’s channel Windows 95 vibes.” 😩💾 That’s right, folks! They’re digging deep into the archives to make Copilot “human-centered.” Actual developer quote alert: “We thought, what if we take all the *failed* features from Cortana, slap on some nostalgia, and call it innovation?” Stonks are about to plummet, and investors are seething in the comments! 💸🔥 🔥🔥 HOT TAKE: If Microsoft drops a ‘90s rap album featuring Copilot, I might just buy a Surface Book and join the cringe train for the memes. Buckle up, because as Copilot rolls out like a Windows update, we can all sit back, eat popcorn, and pray for the future of AI. 🍿🤖💥 #ThisIsFine