🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨: Microsoft reportedly told Xbox to STONK or be GONE! 💀💰 That's right, folks, Bill Gates' golden boys are trying to squeeze the gaming division like a lemon! 🍋 If profit margins were a drink, they’re aiming for straight H2O while barely getting Gatorade! 💦 💬 “We need to make more profits than my mom’s ‘cooking from scratch’ Instagram page,” said an imaginary dev over coffee (no cap). Microsoft’s CFO, Amy Hood, is apparently channeling the spirits of Scott Pilgrim's exes while setting profit goals higher than the average gamer’s self-esteem! 🚀🎮 30% profit margins? 🤡 That's like telling a toddler to run a marathon. Like, bruh, the industry average is a chill 17-22%. 😂 💀 Meanwhile, Xbox execs are on that meme grind like: Drake pointing to “realistic” numbers vs. “let's tear our hair out” targets. This is fine, right? 🔥 Just remember – Microsoft is only giving you one life, but they want to charge you a DLC for it! 🤖💔 😱 Hot take alert 🚨: At this rate, we'll have to start paying subscription fees just for *thinking* about playing Xbox! 🤣 Get ready for a dystopian gaming future where all our games come with “premium” profit goals! Hold onto your controllers, fam! 🙃