🚨📰🌪️ BREAKING: Bari Weiss Just Accepted the Job No One Wanted at CBS News and It's a Whole Mess! 🔥🤡 To: Bari "Why?!" Weiss RE: *Good luck, babe!* 💅 So you wanted a challenge, huh? This ain't just a challenge, this is like trying to build a house of cards during an earthquake 🤯💀. Who thought it was a good idea to put you in charge of a sinking ship? It's giving “glass cliff” vibes, and baby, this cliff is GLASSY AF! 😳📉 Picture this: you’re at CBS News, where the coffee is weak and the news is even weaker ☕🤮. You’ll be like a meme on repeat: “This is fine” with a dog in a burning newsroom 🔥🐶. Management? More like “Here, take this dumpster fire 🤳💥 and make it sparkle!” ✨ And can we talk about the blame game? It’ll be like a dystopian episode of Black Mirror but with less creativity and more slide decks 📊😫! So brace yourself, because I can already hear the imaginary conversations: - *Developer:* “Hey Bari, why is the viewership plummeting?” - *Bari:* “Yo, I just got here! It’s like asking your barista why Starbucks is collapsing!” ☕🚫 So here’s my hot take: in 2025, CBS will be filming a reality show called “Struggling News” where the winners get to quit their jobs. Stonks? I think not! 📉💔💀 #PrayForBari 🤷‍♂️💸✨