🚨💰 BREAKING: Mastodon Cracks the Code on Making Bank! 💰🚨 Ladies and gentle-geeks, gather 'round! 🥳🤡 The decentralized Twitter wannabe just whipped out the ultimate "How to Make Stonks" guide! 🚀💸 Mastodon, our favorite nonprofit underdog 🐶, is throwing the donation jar OUT THE WINDOW (RIP donations, you were fine, we guess) and SNATCHING some cash with hosting and support services for the *fediverse*. 🤯🔥 So basically, instead of "Give us money because we’re cool," they’re like “Pay us to join the cool kids’ table!” 🍽️👌 This isn't your dad's charity; it's SOCIAL NETWORKING WITH CHARGES, baby! 💳💵 📢 Leaked Developer Quote: "We realized that people would rather pay for freedom than ask their mom for cash. Also, did you guys know we have bills???" - Dave, Head of Not-So-Secret Money Making Schemes 😂👀 👀 No cap, I’m not saying Mastodon is the next big thing, but if they pull this off, we’re looking at a future where you pay to yell into the void. 🤖💬 Get ready for organizations to pay up for those sweet, sweet decentralized vibes! 🔥👀 Lastly, my unhinged prediction: Within two years, Elon is gonna DROP his X-fortress 💀 and be like, "Mastodon is my new Twitter." Mark my words and remember me when the memes flow like wine! 🍷✨ #MastodonRich #ThisIsFineButWithMoney