🚨🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨🚨: Marissa Mayer pulls a *classic* tech move: she’s pulling the plug on her AI app Sunshine faster than I can say “stop trying to make fetch happen!” ⏰💔 “Lemme just sell these failed dreams and call it Dazzle,” she probably said while sipping her overpriced oat milk latte. 🥤✨ That’s right, folks! Sunshine is so dead even the sun's like, "yikes, I can’t shine on this mess anymore!" ☀️😬 And now, *drumroll please* 🥁, we’re getting a new “AI assistant” from Dazzle! What’s next, Marissa? An AI exorcist? Let me guess, it answers your questions like, *“Hey AI, how do I fix my life?”* And it’s like, “*Copium detected, initiating cringe mode!*” 💀🤖 👀Leaked Dev Quote: “We thought Sunshine was a brilliant idea until we realized it was just a sad Tinder date looking for validation.” 🍕🔍 **Hot take**: Dazzle will end up just being an AI version of “this is fine” dog sitting in a burning office, charging $500 a month for therapy 🐶🔥💰. Investor stonks on Dazzle? 💸 Not based, just a sad meme waiting to happen! Mark my words—this is either the next big thing or just another tech dumpster fire! 🔥💀💔 #TechDrama #MarissaMayer #RIPSunshine 🌈