🚨🔥 HOLD UP, TECH LIARS! 🔥🚨 You ever been locked out of your Google account? Like, you finally decide to log into your childhood YouTube account and BOOM 💥—you're locked out faster than I can say “this is fine” while my life crumbles around me. 😱👀 Well, hold my *non-fungible water bottle*, because Google is here with a FRIEND FEATURE. Yep, apparently, my random high school buddy from 10 years ago is now qualified to decide if I'm still me 💀🤡. 🔐 Getting locked out? Just call up your *trusted* (😂 yeah right) BFF to verify your identity. Be like Drake pointing: “This is who I wanna help me with my secrets” vs “Why do I have to involve Chad, who doesn’t even text back?” 😒. 🌈 *"Yeah, we just added this feature because having strangers hack into your life was getting too mainstream,"* said a Google dev during a totally real, non-sarcastic Zoom call I totally witnessed. 👀💻 Buckle up, because I predict the next step: Google will start a *trust no one* cult and you'll be required to have a digital security pet to help verify your existence. 🐕🚀💰 #CryptoPuppies4Life Anyway, if your “friend” starts asking for crypto in return for unlocking your Google, just run. Don’t walk. 🏃‍♂️💨💀✨