🚨💼💀 GATHER ‘ROUND, FELLOW TECH MAGES! 💀💼🚨 So, let me drop a *real* bombshell: Corporate fat is getting CUT—like, Axe Body Spray levels of BURN, fam 🔥🔥. You thought the C-suite was all about bling and hired help?! Nah, they’re vibin’ with “Lean Teams, Higher Stakes” now (sounds like a Netflix series that got canceled after one season, right?) 🚀📉. Fr fr, Wells Fargo just threw 23% of its employees out like leftover pizza 🍕 (and NOT the good kind). It’s like they’re playing that “musical chairs” trend, but with job titles. Bank of America laid off 88,000 humans since 2010 and is basically now a “bank” in name only. Think about it: what’s next, AI tellers? 🤖💰 📢 “We want lean ops, not large ops. It’s a flex, bro,” said a *totally* legit source (his name is Chad, our office intern who Googles things). Meanwhile, CEOs are strutting around like they just dropped the hottest mixtape. Stonks? More like Stink-oks! 🤡💩 All this leads me to my WILD PREDICTION: In 2025, we'll have 5-person squads running Fortune 500 companies, and they’ll be trading stocks via TikTok dances. 💃🚀 The future is NOW, children. 🌌 #BuckleUp #CopeAndSeethe