🔔🚨 LAST CALL, TECH WARRIORS! 🚨🔔 💸 TODAY IS THE FINAL BATTLE to snag *up to* $668 off those TechCrunch Disrupt 2025 tickets! That’s not just a discount, my dude — that’s a STEAL like when you find a $5 bill in your winter coat! 😱💀 Join 250+ industry overlords who probably own more Bitcoin than they have friends. 💰🤖 You’ll sit through 200+ sessions that are 90% “Just pivot, bro!” and 10% “AI will take over in 5 years.” 🤡🙃 And let’s not forget the networking — you’ll meet 10,000+ innovators, investors, and founders — aka humans who still say “synergy” unironically. 🤓🔥 💬 Insider quote leaked from a “top developer” (totally didn’t make this up): “We could’ve fixed the bug in our app, but we decided to just buy a conference ticket instead. #Priorities” 🤪 So mark your calendars because after today, you’ll be crying in the corner as the *stonks* go 📉 and your FOMO levels skyrockets! 🚀✨ 🔥🔥 HOT TAKE: TechCrunch 2025 is the perfect opportunity for overhyped pitches and cringe PowerPoints. If you bring your own sips (aka slimy startup ideas), I predict you’ll leave with more free T-shirts than life advice. FR FR! Share this while you still can and spill the tea! ☕👀