🚨🔥 BREAKING: Kong API Summit Sends Tech Bros into a MONETIZATION FRENZY! 🔥🚨 So, like, apparently APIs are the new avocado toast 🥑💰 and everyone’s trippin’ about how to make them pay for themselves. Hold my energy drink, fam – it’s the *agentic era*?! Sounds like a new villain in a superhero movie where all the tech execs are wearing suits and fighting over who gets to charge us for the *privilege* of using their APIs! 💀💼 “Boss, if we can get stonks from these APIs, we’re gonna rule the tech world!” – marketing intern, probably. 🤖💸 But let’s be real, y’all just want a “singular control plane” so you can flex on your Excel skills while collecting ROI like Pokémon cards. 😏📈 And in classic cringe fashion, Kong is leaning hard into unification—because, why not have one big boss API controlling everything like some digital overlord? 😱 This is fine. 🔥 So, my prediction? In the next year, we’ll all be trading API keys like they’re NFTs, and tech meetings will become an Olympic sport. 🏅💯 Get ready to monetize your friendships, folks! 🤡 Share this madness before they try to charge us for it! 🚀