💰🚨 BREAKING: Dataminr is about to send $290M into the stratosphere! 💸💥 They're pulling a *whale move* and about to scoop up ThreatConnect like it’s the last slice of pizza at 3 AM. 🍕😜 In a world where the hackers be hacking and the breachers be breaching, Dataminr is strapping an AI rocket onto ThreatConnect’s cyber intelligence platform like it’s some kind of tech Marvel crossover! 🤖🦸‍♂️ Imagine a villain named “Risk Managed" – this acquisition is here to kick that dude's butt RIGHT OUTTA YOUR CODES!!! 💥 🔎 What do they get? A souped-up risk quantification system that basically screams, “Panic! This is fine!” when *actual* hackers are at your door. 🚪💀 We’re talking threats that the average IT intern wouldn’t see coming even in their wildest dreams. 🚫💤 *“We’re just trying to avoid becoming the punchline of another data breach meme,”* leaked one developer who definitely wasn’t on mute during that last Zoom call. 😂📞 #StonksUp 🔥🧠 Prediction: By 2024, we’ll see a new threat intelligence meme influencer emerge, and cybersecurity will be the hottest new TikTok trend! Watch out for the *#HackerDanceChallenge*! 💃💣 So buckle up, fam! The cyber future is *lit* and Dataminr’s bringing the 🔥!