🚨📉 BREAKING NEWS: JON PROSSER COULDN'T MAKE IT TO COURT! 🍿💀 So, Apple decided to roll up to the court like, "Ayo, Jonny boy, where you at?" and guess what? He ghosted harder than your ex on Valentine's Day. 🍂😬💔 Now the US District Court in Northern California is like, “Defaulting on Prosser? Stonks going up!” 📈🙌 In the epic saga of tech drama, Prosser’s legal representation is sort of like when your WiFi goes out during a data transfer: super painful and totally avoidable. 🥴🤡🍕 "Oops, my bad!" - Jon probably, staring into the void. 🌌👀 Meanwhile, Apple’s like that one overcaffeinated kid at school who just signed up for all the clubs without doing any homework—shady moves, bro. Just for context: This lawsuit is hotter than a fresh AirPod case in the sun. 🔥💽 Can we talk leaks? No, not the "my dog ate my homework" kind—more like "I accidentally leaked the entire Apple event because I couldn't keep my mouth shut" kind! 🚀🤖🦴 🔥💥 HOT TAKE: At this rate, Apple's gonna start a "No Prosser Allowed" membership club, and the merch will fly off the shelves 🚀💰 But, hey, maybe Jon just wanted to keep his record of being late to events intact. His next gig? The TikTok dance challenge of *not showing up* to court. Witchcraft or strategy? 🤪💀 Share this chaotic saga with your besties! 🤣✨