🚨📱 **BREAKING GEAR NEWS: Stay Woke, It’s a Wild Ride!** 🤡💥 Hold onto your pixelated hats, fam! The iPhone Air is here and surprise, surprise! It’s not just another fragile glass sandwich! 💀✨ Apparently, it’s *actually* repairable! Shocking, right? Like finding out your mom’s lasagna isn’t made from cardboard! #Stonks 📈 But wait, there’s MORE! Gemini is crashing the Google TV party like it’s 1999, and tbh we’re just vibing because who doesn't want their TV to have more personalities than a Zoom meeting? 🌌👾 Meanwhile, Withings and Clue collab for women’s cycle tracking—because nothing says “love” like cybernetic hormonal monitoring at 2 AM. 🚀🩸 Oh, and check this out: a new TOASTER from Balmuda! 🍞😱 Not just any toaster, this bad boy could probably toast your *soul* if you give it enough time. "Hey, remember the last time you had breakfast? Get ready for trauma! 🔥👀" – *Leaked Dev Quote.* Don’t sleep on the Shokz earbuds either! Dolby Audio that makes your ears feel like they just did a hot yoga class! 💁‍♂️🎧 **UNHINGED PREDICTION:** By 2025, we’ll all be wearing smart toasters on our heads shouting tech news like a dad at a barbecue. This is fine! 🔥🤖💰