🚨🔍 **BREAKING: iPhone 17's Scratchgate EXPOSED!** 🔍🚨 Alright fam, gather 'round for some juicy tea ☕️ because it looks like Apple's latest shiny brick, the iPhone 17, has been hitting the streets like the hottest mixtape of 2023... except ya boi forgot to run it through QC first, and now we’ve got a scratch party on our hands! 😱💔 iFixit, the tech gnomes of phone dissection 🧙‍♂️, did a full-on *surgical teardown* and guess what? These babies are scratchin’ easier than your auntie’s old vinyl records! 🎶💿 People are finding scratches on their brand new phones before they've even had their morning coffee! Real talk, I can picture the Apple tech wizards: “We decided to replace the glass with, uh, ‘vintage’ materials this time. Everyone loves a good throwback, right?” 🤡💀 And let’s not even start on how users are coping with this tragedy. *Insert Drake meme here*: “No scratches? Nah, just me and my iPhone 17 lookin’ like it survived a battle royale.” 💪🎮🦸‍♂️ *Leaked Developer Quote*: "Honestly, we thought people would just slap a case on it! Who doesn’t love a nice scratchy aesthetic?" 🤷‍♂️ So what's next? 🤔 iPhone 18’s tagline: "Scratches are the new flex!" 🔥🚀 Get your popcorn ready 🍿 because the meme lords are about to have a FIELD DAY! 2024 prediction: Apple introduces "Scratched Edition" iPhones and claims it's "limited art." Stonks will go brrrrrr! 📈💰 #ThisIsFine