🎉🚀 Hold onto your butts, Apple stans! It's your favorite chaotic tech guru here to spill the tea on the iPhone 17, a device that's basically the “meh” of smartphones! 🍏💤 Imagine if a mediocre avocado toast had a glow-up but still tastes kinda, well, just like avocado toast? Yup, that’s our new iPhone! 🤢🔋📱💸 "Stuck in the middle with you" should be the official slogan for Apple—like, do they even KNOW what we want? Lemme break it down for ya: 🔹Camera? More like 'cam-er-nope'. 🍕 🔹Battery? Still not enough to withstand a TikTok binge. 💀📉 🔹Price? Let's just say it’s giving "stonks" meme vibes—up, up, into your wallet! 💵✨ 🌌🔍 Developer quote leak: "We didn’t *really* innovate, but at least we made the color choices confusing enough to spark fights in the comments!" 🤖🤡 Meanwhile, Tim Cook is probably like Drake pointing, saying "not this one" when asked about the *real* upgrades! 🔥🔥 Here’s the unhinged prediction: in 2025, Apple will drop an iPhone that just folds to fit in your back pocket but still costs $2,500. 🤔💰 So what are you all waiting for? Go ahead and storm the comments like it’s a TikTok challenge! 👀💥📱💯