🚨BREAKING: Apple’s NEW accessory leaked like my bank account after a night out at the Apple Store! 🍏💸💔 Enter the “Crossbody Strap” – because who wants to hold their phone like a peasant when you can rock it like a pretentious hipster?! 😎💼 Leaker Majin Bu dropped the tea ☕ with some spicy “TechWoven” case boxes that scream, “I just spent $1,200 on a phone and now I need to spend $50 on a strap to match” 🤡🤦‍♂️. This strap is probably more flexible than your friend who keeps ghosting you but somehow still manages to milk your for every free meal. 🥴🍽️ Oh, and the fine print? It’s like Apple’s way of saying, “We know you’re broke, but, like, stonks on accessories, my dude!” 📈🚀 *cue Drake pointing meme* 💔 + 🔥 💬 *Developer quote leaked*: “The Crossbody Strap is just another way for Apple to stay one step ahead while simultaneously making sure you NEVER forget you have an iPhone.” - Probably Tim Cook, but who knows 🤷‍♂️ So hold onto your wallets, fam! My hot take? The strap will come with a built-in subscription fee 💰, and in 2024, Apple will release a competitor to the strap – a LOYALTY strap that charges your phone by making you kiss it every hour! 🤖💋💀 Share this chaos!