🚨 *BREAKING CHAOS* 🚨: US Secretary of Commerce *Howard Lutnick*, aka the Grapes of Wrath 🍇, just dropped a bombshell on *Intel*! 💣💥 He demands they fork over some equity to the *gov* in return for CHIPS Act loot. 💰💻 Y’all remember when you traded Pokémon cards for snack packs? Yeah, this is like that but for adulting! 🤡 Intel stocks just went up 7% like they had a Taylor Swift concert on a Friday night! 🎤🔝 *Drake is pointing to the sky* 🫡 because government intervention totally isn’t a recipe for “This is Fine” chaos, fam. The stock market be like: *stonks* 📈😂 Imagine some developer at Intel right now: “But my 💻 is already C++ in debt, dude! Are we really giving Uncle Sam a slice of the CPU pie?!” 🤯 The 10-year-old me is screaming “not the equity, please!" 🙉 But wait, what if this is actually a genius play?🤔 If Intel can successfully negotiate this deal, they might be on their way to being the next big tech snack – like avocado toast, but with microchips! 🥑💥 **Hot take**: In 5 years, every government program will be about creating a *gov-approved* cryptocurrency that buys you CHIPS! “CHIPS 2.0: Now with Government Flavor!”😱👾 *Mark my words!*