📱💤 Y’all, let’s talk about the iPhone 17 and why I'm skipping it like a high schooler at gym class! 🏃‍♂️💨 The launch event was as exciting as watching paint dry 🥱, and honestly, the 17 Pro and Air came out looking like budget knock-offs of my grandma's flip phone. 🤖💔 So here’s the scoop: Apple threw a bunch of “new” features at us like they’re launching a rocket to the moon 🚀🌌, but we all know it's just the same old iPhone in a new hoodie. Drake pointing at other phones like “not today, fam” 🥴🕵️‍♂️. Imagine a developer saying, "We added three new widgets to make it feel fresh 🥑, but really it’s just a stale bag of chips! 🍟" Like, bro, I can still taste the flavor from 2019! 😤 And can we talk about that price tag? 💰 I’d rather toss my cash into a bonfire 🔥🔥 than buy a phone that makes me feel like I’m in the Apple Store’s version of *This is Fine* meme. 🔥🔥 Hot take alert: Apple is just a jazzed-up cult at this point. They’re not innovating; they’re just *re-cycling* old designs! Next year, I predict they’ll start selling “vintage” iPhones like the ‘iPhone 6: Classic Edition’ for double the price. 🤡💀🤯 Share this post before Tim Cook comes for my soul! 😵‍💫💾💥 #iPhone17Who #StonksDrop 📉