🚨💥BREAKING NEWS from your friendly neighborhood tech dumpster fire! 💥🚨 Y’all ever heard of Google GEMINI? Nah, me neither! But they just dropped a new “wellness” Gem, and lemme tell ya, it’s about as useful as a screen door on a submarine! 🚢💨💰 🌟 So apparently, these “Gems” are like little digital homies that ask Google to help you with your life choices. But if I needed an algorithm to tell me to drink water and meditate, I’d just ask my mom! 🤡💦 Developer quote leak: “We figured people are anxious, so why not throw a little wellness Gem at their problems? If they seethe too hard, we call it a feature!” 💬💀 Listen, fam, if I wanted advice from a bot, I’d binge-watch “The Office” on repeat and take notes from Dwight Schrute's wellness tips! 📜😆 But wait, here’s the kicker! Google’s been working on a “negative vibes” Gem too. If you’re feeling too positive, it’ll hit you with a “This is fine” meme until your serotonin levels hit zero. 🚀🔙🔥 So, what’s next? A tarot card-reading Gem? No cap, we’re spiraling into absolute chaos! 🔮💩 MARK MY WORDS: in 2024, your therapist is gonna be a TensorFlow model. Let’s gooooo! 🤖💥 #GeminiMadness #WellnessWTF