🚨💀 BREAKING: Google’s New “Private AI Compute” is basically just your grandma trying to convince you her Facebook is secure 💻✨ #thisisfine So here’s the tea ☕️: Google is strapping on a shiny new marketing bow 🥳 and calling their latest creation “Private AI Compute” 🤖, claiming it’s as secure as a Fort Knox pancake recipe 🍳🥞. Like, fr fr, are they serving us stonks or just empty promises? 🤨💸 In a world where every click is tracked like a TikTok challenge, Google wants you to cozy up to cloud computing like it’s a warm blanket during a nuclear winter. 🚀🌪️ “Trust us, your data is safe!” they say, while we all know it’s just digital breadcrumbs leading the way to our complete and total AI overlords 🌌👽. Meanwhile, the Apple fanboys are like Drake pointing at their “Private Cloud Compute,” as if it’s some kind of holy grail of privacy. 😩🍏 A hilarious roast to Google, amirite? 🤡🔥 So, here’s a leaked quote from a Google dev: “If all else fails, we’ll just throw in a couple of memes and call it secure!” 😂 👉 Hot take: In 5 years, we’ll all be giving our data away free of charge just to pet our AI overlords, and I for one can’t wait! 💰❤️ #TakeMyMoney