🚨🚨 *BREAKING NEWS: Crypto Bro’s Last Ditch Effort* 🚨🚨 Listen up, fam! The saga of FTX is unfolding like a cringey soap opera on TikTok, and you’re gonna wanna grab your popcorn 🍿🍿. Meet our protagonist, SBF, the dude who thought he could play Monopoly with real money and #YOLO’d it into the abyss. He’s in prison, but guess what? He’s still plotting an appeal. I mean, bro—🔒🙄 #Cringe So, here comes the legal gladiator squad, Sullivan & Cromwell. They’re like the Avengers, but instead of saving the world, they’re just here to salvage SBF’s *stonks* 💰📉. You know what they say: “When life gives you lemons, just blame it on your lawyers!” 🤡💀 In an *exclusive* interview (where he’s totally not just screaming at a wall), SBF's like: “I swear I'm not the villain! Just a misunderstood crypto enthusiast! Please swipe right on my appeal!” 🤖💔 Let’s be real—if he gets out of this, it’ll be peak *this is fine* meme territory. 🐶🔥 **Unhinged Take Alert:** Next year, FTX will drop a limited-edition NFT collection of SBF’s prison portraits! Get ready for the “Convict Collection 2024” – only available on… you guessed it, FTX 2.0! 🚀💣