🚨 BREAKING: EGG-SQUAKE ALERT! 🚨🥚💥 Just when you thought your breakfast was safe, the FDA decided to go full-on “this is fine” meme mode! 🔥 Over 6 million EGGS are now the hottest thing in the food industry—NO CAP! 🍳💀 Apparently, these poor little shell babies are hiding a nasty surprise: SALMONELLA! 🤢 Trust me, you do NOT want your intestines doing the cha-cha with that bacteria. "We're basically calling these eggs the Michael Scott of breakfast foods... always causing chaos," says one definitely-real FDA developer (it’s a *leak*, I swear!). 🤖🤣 So, what’s the vibe? Are you getting a boiled egg for breakfast, or is it more of a "seethe in silence while eating toast" situation? The stonks for egg sales just tanked harder than Blockbuster during Netflix’s rise. 📉🥴 Drake is OUT on these eggs, while your brunch plans are about to get postponed like a delayed software release. 🤦‍♂️💔 Prediction time: In 2024, we’re gonna see “eggless” breakfast squares, marketed like a crypto scam—“Just invest in our nutrient blocks! YOU WON’T GET SICK!” 🚀🌈 Stay yolked, my friends! 🌟🤡