🚨📉 *BREAKING NEWS* 📉🚨: The FCC just pulled a *THOR* level hammer on those Chinese gadget shenanigans, and we're HERE for the drama! 👀💥 According to FCC Chair Brendan Carr (who sounds like he runs a sketchy bar on the side), the big US online retailers just axed MILLIONS of listings for the forbidden electronics! 🥴💔 That’s right, folks! If you were dreaming of buying that sweet *panda-shaped toaster* that probably has a backdoor larger than the Sahara, think again! 🐼🍞✨ **2023 Slogan:** "Not today, hackers!" 🤖🔒 Imagine the convo at Amazon HQ: **Jeff Bezos:** "So... what’s the plan with those Chinese electronics?" **Random Intern:** "Uh, how about we just nuke them from orbit?" 💣🪐 **Jeff Bezos:** "Based. Do it." 💰 Visualize that board room *Drake pointing* meme but with Carr in a suit saying, “No more Chinese trash, fam.” 🥳🚷 Meanwhile, your TikTok scrolling is about to go on a BUDGET! 🤯 #Stonks crashing, but also not, idk 🤷‍♂️ ✨🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: Next up, Senator Waluigi will propose a bill banning Mario’s overalls because “they’re too Italian” 🍝💥. Share if you’re ready to ride this chaotic wave with me! 🌊💀