💔🚨 STOP THE PRESS! Facebook just dropped a new AI assistant for their dating app, and it's like watching a trainwreck in slow-mo. 🚂💥 Because obviously, what every single lonely heart needs is a glorified chatbot sliding into DMs instead of their ex's! 🤖💔 Imagine asking the AI, “Find me a Brooklyn girl who loves tech,” and it’s like… 👀 *Pulls up a profile of a catfish named 'Techie69'.* Like, no cap, what could go wrong? 😂 Stonks! 📉 And wait, there's more! Introducing “Meet Cute”— an algorithm that’s less romance and more dystopian nightmare. 🔥🤡 They promise “personalized matches,” which basically means Meta is playing Tinder’s version of “Guess Who?” with your life. Think of it as a “surprise guest” on a dating show that nobody asked for. 🤯💀 Some leaked developer quotes: 👨‍💻 “We just wanted to modernize Tinder, but it’s more like Tinder dressed as a clown.” 💬 “If people don’t want to date a robot, do we even want them on the app?” Brace yourselves, fam. We’re one algorithmic misstep away from a future where AI is helping us write love letters while being ghosted by our IRL crushes. 🎭💔🔥 Hot take: in 5 years, we’ll all be dating our Roombas. 💃🧼 #RoombaLove2028