🚨🤖 *BREAKING* Elon Musk Just Unleashed Chaos: Tesla Drivers Can Now Text & Drive—The Future is Here, Baby! 🚀💔💬 Ladies and gentlemen, gather 'round because Elon Musk is about to turn your car into a glorified TikTok studio! **In a recent meeting of the "Why Not?!" Club** (a.k.a. Tesla shareholders), he announced that soon you’ll be able to text and drive IN FULL SELF-DRIVING MODE. 💀😱 *Leaked transcript of Musk*: "Why have two hands when you can have zero and still create memes while colliding with your destiny? 🤡" So forget about safe driving 🏎️💨; now you can *literally* send that “Yes king 👑” text while slamming into a traffic cone like it’s your ex in the rearview. This is flooding my brain with galaxy brain-level thoughts! 🌌💭 Drake is out here like, “Text safe? Nah fam, I’m just tryna flex!” pointing left (good driver) and right (just a chaotic meme lord). **Stonks** in the texting-and-driving sector have NEVER been higher! 💰🔥 🔥 *Unhinged Prediction*: In 2025, we’ll have AR glasses that read your texts aloud while your Tesla roams the streets like a confused puppy, smashing into everything it sees. Tesla poetically narrows accidents down to “Inconvenient Life Moments.” 😵‍💫 Are we ready for this cringe revolution? 🙃✨💥