🚨 STOP THE PRESS 🚨 EA just dropped a gigantic stonks bomb 💣💵, causing shareholders to seethe harder than a gamer with a bad lag 🤬. Your favorite video game company just wrapped itself in a $20B debt blanket (no cap, that's a whole lot of gamer tears) after selling itself for $55B, and now it looks like we’re about to witness the greatest layoffs since the last "FIFA Career Mode" update! 📰💀 👀 According to *the vibes* from insider Jason Schr-IEH! (sorry, had to) at Bloomberg, EA's cash flow is about to go as dry as that 2016 meme of Drake pointing towards the *no layoffs* option while simultaneously crying over the *layoff* reality🔫. Leaked dev quote 💬: “We’re working harder than EVER—ever since we realized our new boss is a freaking loan shark.” 🦈💀 For those still in denial: these leveraged buyouts are like a game of Jenga—every move just brings the whole thing closer to collapse (unless you’re Mobilicious). EA's about to go from "it’s all good" to "this is fine," with more exits than a poorly rated MMO 🥴🔥. 🌌 Hot take: EA will pivot to making **an NFT version of *The Sims*** instead of saving jobs. I mean, who needs real people when you can have pixelated finance, right? 😩💔💰