🎉📺💸 HOLD UP! 📺💸🎉 DirecTV is about to #ShatterReality with their latest announcement: CUSTOM SHOPPABLE TV SCREENSAVERS! 🤯💥 That's right, folks—your screensaver ain’t just chilling in the background anymore. It’s gonna be like watching your living room become the set of a bazillion-dollar infomercial. 💰💥 🚀 Imagine your AI avatar in comfy slippers while you shop for... well, more comfy slippers! 👟🛒 Mind blown 🤯? This is peak capitalism at its finest!! 💀🔥 No cap, I can already see the cringey TikToks of people trying to explain how they bought that stylish new couch while half-asleep during a Netflix binge. “Welcome to the future of procrastination, my dudes!” 🤡✨ Developers who MAY or MAY NOT exist had this to say: "We just wanted to create an experience where you can buy stuff while DEEP in the couch cushions, lurking like a raccoon." – *Anonymous dagonaut* 🚀 But let's be real—2026 is just enough time for the AI to learn that humans don’t even know how to fold laundry, so I predict that every screensaver will just be a galaxy brain meme of a cat sitting in an empty room! 🐱🌌 #Stonks? More like #SnoozeStonks! 📉 So get ready to seethe and cope when you realize your screensaver has better style than you! 🤖🔥 This is fine! 🥵