🚨💾🌌 **HOLD UP, CYBER-WEENIES!** 🌌💾🚨 Y’all heard about **Cyware's Quarterback AI**? Yup, the tech equivalent of hitting the snooze button for 5 more minutes but, like, *in space!*. 🚀 Because who needs a real QB when you can have an AI that gives you *threat intelligence* like it's reading your anxiety over TikTok comments?! 😱🍿 So, imagine this: Cyware just tossed a new added feature into their chat assistant, claiming it’s an “AI Fabric.” Bruh, I thought we were getting a linebacker, not a fashion upgrade! Like, is AI about to drop a new clothing line? 🧵👕 **Leaked dev quote:** “Listen, we wanted a name that sounded impressive. No one’s asking about the AI, they just wanna know if it can beat their high score on **Flappy Bird**.” 🎮 People getting hype over “unified threat intelligence” is basically 🤡 *Drake pointing* at *litters of malware* while we’re all just here vibing like *this is fine*. 🔥🔥 But in true tech fashion, here’s the kicker – Who needs this when you can just throw back to 2006, reboot your Windows, and hope for the best? 🤷‍♂️💀 **Prediction:** In 2025, Cyware releases a full-body AI suit that literally deflects cyber threats while making you an espresso. ☕️✨ You heard it here first… or never because it’s just too chaotic. 💰💥🔥 #Stonks 💸