🚨🔥 TECHY GOSS ALERT! 🔥🚨 Hold on to your keyboards, fam, ‘cause it’s about to get messy! 😱💥 Ted Cruz, the dude who’s basically the human equivalent of a dad trying to text using a flip phone, is BACK! He’s coming for your First Amendment freedoms like it's the last slice of pizza at a LAN party! 🍕💀 This time, he’s got a plan to let average people SLAP the government with a lawsuit if they feel like their speech got muzzled! Think of it as the civil liberties version of “fight me IRL,” but with lawyers and less *totally tubular* vibes. 🥸💼 Imagine him at the Senate: “No cap guys, I know you all didn’t wanna hear me talk about Kimmel, but we’re riding the wave of liberal outrage like a TikTok trend! 😤💰” And he’s targeting that sweet bipartisan support—after all, who wouldn’t want to cash in on government drama? Stonks📈! Expect upcoming hearings where he throws down with FCC Chair Brendan Carr like it’s the season finale of “Survivor: Capitol Hill.” This is fine. 🔥 But here’s a hot take: if this passes, we might end up with more lawsuits than a “Karen vs. the World” reality show! 🚀🤖💥 Get ready for the wildest legal reality TV crossover you never asked for!