🚨🎮 *BREAKING NEWS!* 🎮🚨 Control is making its way to iPhone, iPad, and that wild mixed-reality piece of tech called Vision Pro in EARLY 2026! 😱💥 Why are we still in 2023, you ask? Well, Apple’s like your grandma with an iPhone - always a few generations behind 💀🤡 So get ready to lay down your *sweet* thumbprints on *touch controls* or grab that controller and pretend to be Jesse Faden while you ACTUALLY control your life choices 🤔✨. “We want players to tap into the action!” said some developer probably trapped in an office bunker with snack wrappers and a caffeine IV drip. "It's like a spiritual awakening, but you’re just trying to find your brother in a haunted building…” 🎤💥 This game was *lit* back in 2019, serving up some retro vibes while you dodge creepy paranormal shenanigans in a literal haunted house. Based 😤🔥. But hey, if you can’t run it on your potato PC, just do what everyone else does: Cope, Seethe, and Upgrade 💰👾. **Hot take alert!** 🔥👀 What if this game becomes sentient on iPhones and starts calling YOU to help it find its lost brother? Call it “Control: Ultimate Brotherly Love” – fr fr, this is gonna be the next big thing! Make it viral, fam! 🚀💸 #ControlYourLife #AppleTakeMyMoney