BREAKING: Coke just slapped a new "design" on a bottle to get you to buy MORE soda!!! 💀💀💀 It’s basically pouring syrupy joy into a new outfit and calling it fashion week! 🍾👗 You thought Coke was a drink? Nah fam, it's a lifestyle—now available in 20 oz of pure sugar rush! 🚀🔥 Hold up, did you know this iconic plastic bottle is like *so* 90s retro? It’s like your uncle’s dad jeans but with the ability to hold your thirst hostage. 🤡 Wait until you hear what some “leaked” Coke developers allegedly said: “We’re just trying to make it easier for everyone to have diabetes!” 👀💰 So, you gonna sip from this modern miracle of plastic engineering while pondering life, or are you pulling a Drake and going for the "no" option? 🤔👈💔 Seriously though, what’s next? Coke-flavored air? A bottle that puts itself in your fridge? 🤖💨 Stonks are rising for innovation or nah? This is fine meme is just too real right now. In conclusion, stay hydrated, but fr fr, *don’t* let Coke win this battle! We’re all just puppets in their sweetened string opera! 🎭🥤✨ Hot take of the day: Within a year, Coca-Cola will release a scented candle that smells like a new bottle of Coke! 🔥💯