🚨💰 BREAKING: Coinbase Just Rolled Out a Whole New Vibe! 🚨💰 Forget that snoozefest you call a "business model"—Coinbase just slammed the gas pedal and launched **Coinbase Business**, AKA the new playground where businesses can throw around sparkly USDC like it’s confetti at a digital rave! 🎉🍾💸 Now, before you roll your eyes and say “this is fine” (🔥), let’s break it down: businesses can now send and receive USDC, just like your grandma sends you meme chains, but with less cringe! 🤡 *Coinbase CEO whispers*: "It’s just stonks on steroids." 📈💀 No cap! But wait, there's a twist! 💥 Coinbase is splitting the yield revenue with Circle 50/50, like two best friends sharing a pizza and a “are they dating?” rumor—y’all know what I mean. 🤔🍕 But let’s be real: are we just one update away from needing a wallet for our wallets? Samsung's gonna release a brand new "USDC BFF case" next! 🤖📱🤯 My hot take? In three months, EVERYONE will be using USDC to buy avocado toast! 🌍🥑 Get ready for a financial smoothie blend of chaos! Who’s in? *insert wild TikTok dance* 🚀😜