🚨🦸‍♂️ Attention, fellow scroll zombies! 🚨 Is your Chrome browser collecting more notifications than you have friends? 📱💔 Well, Google just slapped a parental control on your procrastination with their new auto-snooze feature! 😴🔕 Google's got a whole new mind-reading tech that will put those pesky notifications in the timeout corner! Imagine it like that friend who keeps asking you to join their weird cult — this time, Chrome is like, “Nah fam, I’m good.” 🙅‍♂️💀 Rumor has it that during a top-secret meeting, a Google dev screamed, “We’re basically making people UN-ADDicted from their phones! Stonks up! 💰🚀” I mean, who knew Google was the unsung hero we all needed? 📉✨ But fr fr, it’s only snatching off notifications that are as useful as a toaster in a swimming pool. 🏊‍♀️🔥 So, get ready for your browser to have the emotional intelligence of a 5th grader! 🤡 No cap, this is gonna be the ultimate glow-up for your online life! 🔮 Hot take: In 2024, I predict that Google will introduce a feature that automatically disables useless friends. Imagine just receiving DMs from your hype squad only! THE FUTURE IS NOW, BABY! 😤💯