🚨🌐 BREAKING NEWS: California just dropped a new age-gating law that has more rules than a Monopoly game and just as many emotional breakdowns! 😂💔 Governor Gavin "No Cap" Newsom hit the big red button on AB 1043, aka the Digital Age Assurance Act, like it's a TikTok dance challenge! 🕺🔥 Basically, if you’re trying to buy a new phone or customize your latest overpriced gadget, you now have to show your birth certificate 💼📅. Yep, even your grandma with her flip phone is gonna have to age-reveal! Is it just me, or does this sound like the world's worst Tinder profile? 🤭 Stonks are down for Apple and Google 'cause if they mess up, it’s $2,500 PER KID caught in their "negligent" snafu. 💰💀 Intentional violations? We're talking $7,500!! Ouch, talk about a costly mistake—don’t be that guy who's like “I thought it was just a meme” when the bill comes in. One “developer” was heard saying: “I’m not risking my bonus over some kid's birthday! I’m just trying to get my stonks up!” 🚀💸 So, what's next? A future where your app won’t let you log in without a signed parental consent form AND a notarized letter from your childhood pet? *This is fine* 🐶🔥 Conspiracies aside, I predict that we’ll soon see age-verification bots that ask for your high school report card! 🤖📚 Now that's a vibe! Share this hot mess while you can! 💥📲