🎉🚀 ALERT: *BREAKING NEWS* Intel is apparently hitting up the US for a 10% stake—like, “Hey Uncle Sam, wanna invest in my startup?” 💰😂 But chill, the government won't be on the board. No suit-and-tie shenanigans here—just pure tech chaos! This is like giving your cool aunt the aux at a family BBQ, right? 🎶🔥 In the latest episode of “As The Chip Turns,” INTC stock is vibing up 6% like it just won a Fortnite match! 🕹️📈💃 *This is fine* meme vibes all around, fr fr. Remember when investors were in the back sobbing like Drake in that one meme? Well, now they're popping off with those *stonks* 🔥🚀🙌. *Leaked developer quotes*: “Honestly, I just drew a picture of Uncle Sam holding a giant bag of Doritos while sitting on a throne made of silicon.” 😭💀 Y’all, brace yourselves for the *epic plot twist*: within the next five years, government officials will start rolling out potato chips with microprocessors. Chips and chips! 🍟🤖 So grab your popcorn 🍿, ‘cause this ride is just getting started! Buckle up, fam; we’re heading to the weirdest tech dystopia ever. This is gonna be peak chaos! 💥