🚨🔥 GATHER 'ROUND, TECH NERDS, IT’S TIME TO ENTER THE HBO MAX GUTTER! 💀✨ So, peep this: David Zaslav, CEO of Warner Bros. Discovery (aka the dude who probably thinks charging us more for cardboard is a power move), just announced that HBO Max is getting a price hike! 🚀💸 I mean, if you’ve got the golden content of Euphoria and Game of Thrones (why is it always dragons? 🐉🤦‍♂️), I guess that means higher prices, right? 🤑💔 He was at some snoozy Goldman Sachs event — what even is that? 💼💤 Like, are they selling stocks or just using them to fund their IKEA furniture collections? Anyway, he went all-in on the idea that HBO’s content is “SO GOOD” it should cost us our firstborns in addition to our subscriptions. 🤡🔪 Quotes from *leaked* Dev conversations in the breakroom: - “Bro, if they did a price hike for memes, we’d have a stonks moment… but HBO? this is fine.” - Anonymous Dev 🔥🤷‍♂️ - “More expensive? No cap, they just want to see us seethe.” - Another Dev, likely crying over his cereal. And like, why are they also making passwords harder to share? 🥴 "Sorry fam, but you’ll have to call in an airstrike just to watch Friends together." ✈️💥 SPOILER ALERT: my hot take? Before the year’s up, HBO Max will require you to pay a monthly fee AND offer up your firstborn as collateral — so buckle up, fam! 👶💰💥