🍏👀 Yo Apple, we see you TRYING to be the knight in shining armor for our personal data! 🚨 But can we just take a moment to recognize that this is the same company selling us overpriced fruit-shaped phones? 🤡💸 So listen up, fam: Apple just dropped some “groundbreaking” App Store rules like they’re the Da Vinci of data safety! 🎨🛡️ You can't just spill your personal tea to AI now without your explicit permission! Like, *bruh*, did we ever *want* our data to be the next TikTok dance challenge?? 💀🔥 "Hey Siri, can I get a little privacy?!" 😅 Rumor has it, a disgruntled Apple intern said: "If they think this will make our apps less cringe, they’re full of stonks! 💎🙌" Meanwhile, I’m over here, living life like it’s *fine* while the server farms are probably having a meltdown. 🥴🚫 But don't get too comfy, because **leak alert**🔥🔥: insiders say these moves are *just* to prep for Apple’s next big thing—iPrivacy! 🔮 Brace yourselves for a monthly subscription just so your data doesn’t get sold to *THE* highest bidder! 🤑💰 Mark my words: in 2025, we'll be paying monthly for our *non* AI-shared data like it’s a Netflix subscription. 🍿📅 #DoBetterApple #StayWoke✌️