Hold the phone! 📞💥 In a plot twist no one asked for, Apollo Global just *dropped* AOL like a hot potato 🥔🔥, selling it to Bending Spoons (uh, what are they spooning? 🤨) for a staggering $1.5 BILLION! 💰✨ 30 million Monthly Active Users? 🔥 That's like gaming stage 1 boss level numbers! But let’s be real—anyone still using AOL is probably just checking out their ancient email accounts for those sweet, sweet 2005 nostalgia vibes. 😂💌 *This is fine* meme plays in the background. Imagine the conversation: “Hey, Bending Spoons, what are you cooking?” “Just stirring AOL into our tech stew, no biggie!” "Y’all sure that’s not expired?" 🤢 But wait! This is a win-win for AOL. They can keep sending out those sweet, sweet “You've Got Mail” alerts while Bending Spoons figures out how to turn it into a TikTok filter! 👀🚀 🚨 Hot Take: *In five years*, AOL will somehow be resurrected as a financial platform for crypto investors. 🌌🌈 *STONKS* on the rise! So strap in and prepare to send your AOL email to the moon! 🌕💀 #BendingSpoonsRich #EmailIsLife