🚨💥 *BREAKING: BLUETTI Just Unleashed the Elite 30 V2 in a Crayon Box!!!* 💥🚨 Hold onto your butts, fam! BLUETTI has just dropped the Elite 30 V2 portable power station, and it’s more colorful than a toddler’s finger-painting project! 🎨👶💀 And guess what? Amazon Prime Day is bringing you discounts hotter than a jalapeño on a summer day—up to 70% off! 🤑💸 👀💬 “We wanted this power station to look fun, like if a rainbow exploded at a tech conference,” said an anonymous BLUETTI developer (probably under duress). Seriously, how did we go from sleek to freaky? 🤨🤡 But wait—there’s a secret code for 9 to 5 Mac readers! Don’t tell the boomer tech reviewers – they might just seethe while we all snag deals. 💺💥 Drake pointing at you: “If you don’t grab this deal, you’re just coping.” 😤💣 Meanwhile, the Elite 30 V2 is perfect for powering your TikTok hustle or fueling the next viral dance challenge. Who doesn’t want to be the influencer who sees the light? 🔥💃 🔥💡🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 2025, BLUETTI will release a power station that actually charges your social anxiety and helps you avoid awkward small talk at parties. No cap. 🚀🤯💰