🚨🔥 BREAKING: Aussie Kiwis are getting SPY’D on harder than that one buddy who always “accidentally” opens your DMs at parties! 🤡💥 According to our *uh, trusted* sources (just kidding, it’s Australia’s spy chief 👀), Chinese state hackers are casually cruising through Aussie telecom networks like it’s a Sunday drive. 🚗💨 But wait! It gets juicier than an influencer dressing down at Coachella! 🍑💀 The land of kangaroos and overpriced avocado toast just lost a whopping **$8 BILLION** to these digital ninjas last year! That’s enough stonks to buy a whole *land down under* (or at least a few cases of Foster’s). 🤯💰 The spy chief said, "It's fine… everything's fine" while sipping his overpriced oat milk latte. ☕️🤖 Leaked Quote: “We thought we were just getting hacked during Afterpay week... turns out it was a full-blown espionage fiesta!” 🎉😱 Drake is definitely pointing at the screen like, “Y'all need a firewall or something!” 🥴 🤔 Hot take: We're gonna be watching TikTok tutorials on how to hide our sensitive info behind some bushes! 🥴🚀 In 2024, expect kangaroo NFTs to be the new privacy solution! 🦘💵💥 This is either the beginning of cyber warfare or the world's cringiest reality show. Bet on the latter.👀💀 #AussieDrama #SpyVsSpy