🌍🍏 Apple is out here acting like they just found a bug in the matrix! 😱💻 Listen, fam, they’re clutching their pearls over the EU’s Digital Markets Act (DMA) like it’s the last piece of pizza at a coding bootcamp! 🍕💔 “Oh no, our **precious new features** are delayed!" 🙄 Newsflash, Tim Cook! 📱💼 Just because you can’t drop the latest iOS explosion doesn’t mean our lives are in PERIL. 🚨 You’re not saving lives here, you're selling luxury hand mirrors that can play TikToks! 🤳🔥 “Leading to a worse experience” sounds like a straight-up *this is fine* meme, right? This is Apple’s classic “C’mon EU, let us play with your toys” tantrum. 🤡💔 Meanwhile, one of their engineers whispered, “What are they complaining about? We didn’t even want to launch those features in the first place!” 👀😂 So, what’s the takeaway here? Apple’s over here acting like they’re a marginalized minority when we all know they’re just coping. Cash flow ain’t stopping! 💰💸 Hot take: Apple's next feature will be the iCry™ button - where you can literally press it to shed a tear about your app store monopoly! 🚀👾 #Stonks 🔥🔥🔥