🚨📱BREAKING: APPLE'S iPHONE 17 EVENT CONFIRMED! 📅🍏✈️ Get ready to clutch your pearls, fam, because Apple just dropped the news that the iPhone 17 event is going down on September 9! 🥳 1 PM ET at Cupertino HQ, aka the tech Mecca where dreams go to be overpriced. The tagline? “Awe dropping.” Lemme translate that for you: “Brace yourselves for an endless stream of overpriced metal rectangles.” 🤡💸 Rumor has it we’ll be getting the iPhone 17 Air—thinner than your excuses for canceling plans, and lighter than your enthusiasm when Apple drops another “innovative” feature you didn’t need! 💀🔥 This bad boy will probably cost you a kidney ($1500, anyone?) but hey, at least it’ll fit in your pocket! #Stonks 📈🤑 Expect the usual lineup: the base iPhone 17 (for basic bros), the iPhone 17 Pro (for people who like flexin’), and the iPhone 17 Pro Max (for those who want a phone AND a dumbbell). 💪📞 🎤 "Yo, we might just drop the new iPhone like it's hot!" - Said NO ONE at Apple, EVER. Hot take: 👀 Apple will announce a new color, and people will lose their minds like it's the second coming. They’re banking on someone wanting an electric blue phone more than adopting a puppy. 🤯🚀 Share this unless you want to be THAT friend who doesn’t keep up with the chaos! 💥