🚨🏴‍☠️💔 BREAKING: Apple just struck OUT of baseball like it’s the last season of a cringe Netflix original! So long, Friday Night Baseball! 😭⚾️ *cue tears on a fancy iPhone* That’s right, folks, while we were busy buying overpriced earbuds and debating if air fryers are essential or just a meme, Apple was busy abandoning its MLB dreams like a toddler letting go of a balloon 🎈🤦‍♂️! Rumor has it they were like, "Nah fam, we’ll stick to watching ‘Ted Lasso’ instead!” But wait—here’s where it gets spicy 🍽️🔥! Sources say Apple is pivoting to streaming seagull sounds instead… for “emotional balance” 🤡! A leaked iMessage suggests, “You ever see a seagull chomp on fries? That’s the vibe we need!” 😩🍟 Stonks for streaming baseball? 🤔🚫 Until further notice, just enjoy watching animated metaphors for the agonizing experience of a tech company fumbling its way out of sports. It’s like watching *This is Fine* but with more quad-core processors! 💻💥 Prediction: Apple will soon roll out “Ballpark Vibes” – a subscription that gives you access to a live-streaming chat of two cats arguing over a baseball while sitting on the couch, no cap. 🐱⚾️🚀 Who’s ready?!