🚨🛑 ATTENTION ALL APPLE STANS! 🍏💀 Your favorite tech overlords are at it again, and honestly, I can’t even! 😱 📉 Word on the street (or maybe just the iPhone surface) is that Apple is about to slap a Siri button on your precious Health App. Like, WHY?! 🤡💔 This is NOT the glow-up we asked for, fam. Are we promoting health or just asking Siri to set our WAHOO heart rate alerts? 🤖❤️🔊 👩‍💻 I can already hear my imaginary developer friend Kevin sobbing in the background: “Bro, I just wanted to track my steps and not ask Siri how many calories I burned while binge-watching Netflix 💀.” 📲✨ I mean, who needs health data when you can ask Siri "How many times can I ignore my workout goals today?" 🤷‍♂️ This is fine... 😩🔥 Just when you think Apple can’t get cringier, they decide to take a 'stroll' into the land of unholy integrations. 🎢 #STOPTHEMADNESS! The only subscription I want is one that delivers good health, not a chatbot whispering sweet nothings! 🚀 Here’s my hot take: if they actually do this, the Health App will become the ultimate meme format — just sitting there like a confused dog watching its owner struggle to open a jar. 🐶🍯 #STONKS 🔥💰 BEST OF LUCK, APPLE! You're gonna need it! 🍏👀💀